A note from our founder

Hello parents and caregivers! You might be wondering why we’ve been addressing your child directly and think we forgot about you. Let me explain: 

First, let me start by saying that I am a parent myself. I know how important you are to your child. I know how important your child is to you. Your relationship with your child is lifelong, and you know them better than any professional ever could.

We want to be a resource for you. We are here to listen to your concerns, offer our perspective and advice, and to partner with you to support your child. That being said, your child is the one who is responsible for doing the work.

I created Changing Tides in part because I believe adolescents and young adults are often left out of the conversation about them. Adults talk about how to help young people, come up with well-intentioned plans, and then wonder why our plans don’t come to fruition. Professionals often specialize in working with younger children, which isn’t the right fit for the needs of a teenager. Teens and young adults deserve to work with people who have expertise working with this particular age group. They deserve to be spoken to directly, to be treated with respect, and to know that their opinions and feelings matter.

From a theoretical standpoint, separation, differentiation, and individuation are critical developmental tasks during adolescence. This means that as painful as it can be, it is your child’s job to separate herself from you and to distance herself from her childhood. She is actually doing her job when she finds ways to establish an identity that is in contrast to how you knew her to be when she was young. She needs to try on different ways of being in the world to see what fits. Often, this period of life is characterized by some intense emotions directed at you out of nowhere. This can be incredibly sad, frustrating, and confusing for you to bear. (For more about this, check out Lisa Damour’s book about raising teenage girls). 

I can’t tell you how many young people I’ve worked with who “hated” their parents at age 14, only to tell me a few years later that their parents are their most trusted confidants. Allowing your child the space to push back, to express her feelings of being misunderstood, or just to feel like she is a separate person away from her family can be incredibly helpful during this stage. Our goal at Changing Tides is to develop a genuine, trusting relationship with your child during this part of her life. All young people need guidance from adults, and sometimes it’s easier to receive that support from people who aren’t your parents. We don’t want to take over your job. We want to support your child through this moment of life so that your relationship is stronger and closer on the other side.

We are happy to consult with you or to involve you in your child’s sessions with their agreement, but we want your child to have a sense of ownership over our work together. Rest assured that if we are ever concerned for your child’s safety or the safety of anyone else, we would promptly let you know. If you have any other questions, concerns, or just want more information, please feel free to reach out to me. I look forward to speaking with you!