Acknowledge Your Growth
As the summer draws to a close, it feels like a good opportunity for us all to take a moment and acknowledge our growth.
A little backstory: On Monday, I officially moved into my new office. Hooray! …Or so I thought, until I was dealing with hiccups during the move, sweating as I carried boxes of books up the stairs, and then looking around an empty room, wondering if I could ever make it feel homey. Cut to a few days later, when I was trying to explain how to use our new online booking software to Shannon and realized I actually had NO IDEA how to book an appointment–3 hours with tech support later, I can assure you I definitely can book an appointment for you :-)
This week, self-doubt has found me. Catastrophizing: “This is such a disaster and will never work!”--hello, old friend. All-or-nothing thinking: “If I can’t even make my office comfortable, my clients will hate it here and I will fail!” Yup, welcome to the party. (These are all examples of cognitive distortions, for those of us who like to give labels to our unhelpful thoughts.)
My point in sharing that is not to say, “Therapists, they’re just like us!” It’s to say: Maybe you are also going through some self-doubt right now. Maybe the start of the school year or the end of the summer has you feeling some sort of way. Maybe you’re also caught up in tearing yourself down, or believing the worst thoughts about yourself.
Sounds like the time to do a little growth inventory and give ourselves credit where credit is due!
Here are 3 simple steps to acknowledge your own growth:
Remember where you started from. For me, this might look like reminding myself that 1 year ago, starting my own practice was just a dream in my head. I had an idea, but that was all. No website, no office, nada.
Ask yourself: What’s different now? Well, now I have an office, a whole bunch of technical software, legal documents, amazing women on my team, some amazing clients already ready to go, a few potted plants… I could go on, but you get the idea. A lot is different.
Give yourself credit: How did you get here? THIS IS CRITICAL. PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK! Well, I spent a lot of time on Google. I worked through all of my baby’s nap times and after she went to bed at night. I spent endless hours on the phone with tech support. I had inspiring meetings with my incredible graphic designer who helped bring my vision to life. I found a cute little office and signed a lease. I worked through a lot of fear and self-doubt with the support of so many incredible people who I am lucky to have in my life. Sometimes I sat down and cried and felt overwhelmed and then I got back up and kept on going!
I can’t recommend enough actually getting out a journal, a piece of paper, or a note on your phone and writing something down. When we get stuck in a loop of cognitive distortions, it is so easy for our brains to convince us that the negative stuff we’re saying to ourselves is the truth. When we believe that something bad is true, we start to filter our experience of the present and the past through that negative (untrue, unhelpful, self-limiting, unkind) lens. When we take a moment to challenge those thoughts, we’re allowing ourselves to practice believing in a fuller, more nuanced, and more generous story.